capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
