butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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