After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
