sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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