I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
