I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
