i just wanna soil my oats bro
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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