It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I could make wine with my vomit
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
