Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
