Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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