ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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