I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
