Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
