You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
