i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
