How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
