Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
