Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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