I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
