I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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