I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
