Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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