She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
