can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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