we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
