apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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