I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
it hurts more in the daytime
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
