But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Your dad touched me again.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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