Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
