Plan B is the new Plan A
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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