I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
