Slut skills are useful in every country.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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