everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
