how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
