How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
