ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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