remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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