it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
