We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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