I'm so fucking centered right now
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
