gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Vodka?
Forever.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize