Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
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