I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
