I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
