guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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