Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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