I must be too annoying 4 u.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
