I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
