How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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