Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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