Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
