okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
