Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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