At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
i think i just lost a toe
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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