HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
