Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize