She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
