mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
