I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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