you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
