And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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