Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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