So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
