I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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