I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize