i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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